Agent Nora and the Freaky Bean

I'm curious to see where this goes. Thanks for continuing the story, Figgy!

I love the accompanying illustrations, btw.

Mrs Figgs pictures are always good

omg, this gets better and better

This IS good, & I love the illustrations !

Amarie of Avalon

Agent Nora getting a bit miffed at all that climbing and stuff.

Elthir (yes really)

I never would have imagined Elthir was so hunky.

Nora walked up to Elthir and tugged his arm. "whats going on here?" she said, her patience growing paper thin. She was tired now, and felt a bit weepy. Perhaps it was an after effect of just being in this strange land with these strange creatures. because they were not human, of that she was sure. "I am here to try to save my friends, they are imprisoned, they need me. I am afraid you will have to tag along, I cant leave you here, its not safe, for...humans" he said.
"oh great!", said Nora. "you should have thought of that before you dragged me up a bean stalk". she put her hands on her hips and glared at him.
"it wasnt my idea Agent Nora", he said grumpily. "this shouldnt have happened, humans are not normally able to reach the Citadel without powerful wizard magic".
"do you know any powerful wizards", she said suddenly forgetting to be angry.
"well one or two, they come and go, and are not very reliable folk. They appear with lots of fanfair and pomp, and then poof! they are gone for months, maybe years, you have just forgotten their names, and plop! there they are at your door, making you do uncomfortable things".
Nora gulped. uncomfortable things? what on earth could that mean?

i love the illustrations aand daaamn hunky Elthir and this story! i'm getting more and more intrigued !!

Never trust a wizard unless they are brewing buckie I say.

Enjoying this Mrs Figg.

The tall blond elf that looked like Eldo walked over to them, he beckoned them to follow him. They seemed to be high in a forest, little lights were moving and dancing in the golden twilight. A soft haunting song was echoing in the distance. Nora tried to take in every detail, her eyes felt like sponges tring hard to soak up all this wonder. Now and again Nora got little whiffs of the rose perfume, it seemed to issue from the Elves themselves. They were walking on the white decking, there were no hand rails, and every step made the path shift under her feet. After a while she got used to the movement, it was rather like being on a boat, the balance came gradually.
They were ushered into a large room with open round arches and delicate white furniture. Nora felt sure Elthir would crush them under his weight.
"Elthir", she said, hardly able to contain her curiosity another nano-second. "tell me everything, who are youwhoareyourfriendswhoare thesepeople" she blurted all her questions in a constant stream, until Elthir laughed and held up his hand for her to stop.
"I am a Dwarf", he said...
"er no you are not, you are at least 6 foot in your artfully distressed leather mithril toe-capped boots". "you are definately a man", she said adamantly.
"I am a Dwarf, but not those tiny creatures with fishing rods you people have in your gardens, nay the small chunky belching creatures you people have in your films". "I am a Dwarf from Lyonesse, and we are tall, but living in your land has made us taller due to the Elven beverages you sell".
oh cumon Elthir thats silly, we dont sell Ent draughts down Marks and Spencers". she said laughing slightly sniffily.
"then my dear girl how do you explain Starbucks?".

"Starbucks??!" she cried. "eh, whatchootalkinabout??
"think Nora!, he said encouragingly, "the Elven beverage is concealed in plain sight, you drink but you do not know you partake of a magical substance, think! what is the sign".
"A lady with golden hair the star of Elendil on her brow". he said with a deep sigh.
Nora goggled at him while this knews sunk in.
"you mean to say Elves have a global chain of tax avoiding pseudo eco-friendly coffeehouses?"
"yes" he said somewhat annoyed.
"well I never", said Nora, amazed, "are there any other consumer brands i should know about?" "dont tell me Apple is run by Ents", and Virgin is run by Mrs Figgs ladies".
"no, just Starbucks", he glowered.

starbucks

brilliant !

"so about your friends, are they Dwarves also?", she said, wondering if any of them were as hunky but less grumpy than Elthir.
"yes they are my brother Dwarves from the great city of Erebor-on-sea. They have been captured by a terrible Necromancer, who it is said does horrible things to vegetables, he grows vile carrots and foul looking spuds. These zombie veggies overrun the lands causing havoc to Eagle traffic control towers, as they fly low nipping the Eagles soft undercarriage, they dont like that do Eagles, nope not at all.
"A Necromancer? said Nora intrigued.
"yes he was once a farmer it is said, but he drank too deeply from a well of enchanted moonshine, that some Scottish hobgoblin had left lying around, and became obsessed by breeding veggies that would serve him and create a New World Order. But the veggies became ruder and ruder, and quite embarrasing to respectable ladies, so the Necromancer and a few of the weirder ones set up house in the ruined castle of Dun Roamin".

"and what does this Necromancer chap want with Dwarves? said Nora.
Elthir shuddered, "we think he is trying to breed a Dwarf/carrot hybrid, the carrots are the most vicious ones, they have no fear, maybe because they are crunchy in consistency, anyway, its bad, and tomorrow we must travel to the Castle, defeat the Necromancer and free the captives before they are penetrated and defiled".
"can I have a sword?" said Nora, "at least a spud knife".

That night Nora couldnt sleep
she lay on the white woolen bed and tossed and turned, as is always the way, when you know you have an early start in the morning. Elthir was snoring gently from the next room, she wondered idly if she would wake up at home, and she was afraid to miss the Adventure. Nora got up and padded through the midnight garden outside her room. She was afraid of falling over the edge of the decking, but it was well lit with silver lamps. All the Elves seemed to be sleeping, she was alone so she decided to investigate the place. There were steps up and down shining silver in the moonlight, and small tinkling rivulets of water gurgled down into stone basins and plashed her hands as she passed. The leaves sighed and swayed, all was still. A faint warm perfume and an elf stepped before her. It was the Eldo elf. He bowed and smiled.

spud knife

Rivendell represents a sanctuary to me, like a monks retreat,or a Spa, where you can stay as long as you need, & totally chill out ! sheer bliss !!

Do continue. I'm wondering what this Eldo elf fellow is up to.