Hello Norc

she has bigger Herring to fry than us. is it still snowing in Svalfart?

I think we might need another Mrs Figg Svalfart original story to find out

hi

sorry i've been away. family stuff happening, exams and some mental health shit (because yey my body produces it's own hormones again and what is my brain doing aka. stopping the pill).

(well... probably not just hormones)

{{Well I've been popping them for years with my buckie never done my brain any harm and must be working as I've never got pregnant once, and as an added bonus I've now got a cracking pair of breasts   }}}

halfwise wrote:So that took what ... two and a half weeks from the initiating hello?

It would be interesting to know how the brain behaves differently on and off the pill.  It's supposed to allow you to be more of a hellion, but does it damp things down?  Sort of like going on and off lithium?

sorry


no true answer really. everything is individual. and there are many pros and cons. as for me... i am just realizing i am depressed. and celebrating constitution day yesterday actually just amplified everything.

A "depressed" mood that can be cured by spending time outside relaxing is not "depression" in the way that word is used in the context of mental health. Two very different meanings of the same word (see also: the divergent colloquial and clinical meanings of "OCD").

thank you Eldo. i was gonna reply to halfy that that was "a fucking terrible advice" and that it is really belitteling the actuall depression. depression is doing something that should be fun, that is fun, and you reaaaally want it to be fun, but you still can't feel the fun. and also thinking everyone around you hates you and doesn't wanna hang out with you even though you know that that is not true..

I'm not sure there is much that works for a clinical depression apart from time and perseverance, except people that love you that wants to make you feel better and feel you are worth the substantial amount of mostly fruitless time that takes. But there is always a light on the other side, don't forget that.

"There is always a light on the other side" is an objectively false statement considering the hundreds of thousands of lives worldwide claimed by mental illness every year and such platitudes are unhelpful both in their vagueness--there are, in fact, concrete steps that can be taken to fight mental illnesses, including but not limited to psychiatric medication--and in the (probably unintentional) implication that people who have not seen recovery despite their best efforts simply aren't showing enough perseverance.

It's one of those things that if you've ever experienced it you'll understand, and if you haven't you'll probably never quite get it. Either way is OK, but it's probably good for both groups to realize how much depression is really out there in the world, most of which is never formally diagnosed.

{{{ And by the way, Hi Norc!!! }}}

I think part of the depression Ive felt is that I expect too much of myself. I can only live with myself for a short length of time. Ive swung from " why cant I have a nice guy in my life" to " she doesn't like me really, only saying hello cuz she cant avoid me". Ive distrusted my own family on nothing more than for one fecking weekend they didn't answer my Facebook messages. Instantly I think they are having more fun without me. I'm convinced I'm not a nice person & would look better with a bag over my head. Any platitudes I get I either think its sarcasm or I'm being told to shut up if you read between the lines. I have a lot of issues going on but, I agree with Halfy on getting out into & being with nature. Reading back this all reads as if I'm a spoilt brat & quite shallow, & I think that's how people might see you as, if they have not had depression or mental health issues ? that's why its easy for them to say "snap out of it" !!

i thin Azriel gives a really apt description of it. that paranoia that no one actually likes you deriving from the fact that you don't really like yourself (even though you know and tell yourself it isn't true). And also being perceived as a brat or even percieving yourself as a spoiler whiney brat, because why the hell are you not happy? you ought to be happy , your life is great right? all the right things? you don't have a reason?

also.. wanna point out. Being sad is not depression. Being sad because you miss your grandpa who died, is not depression. Sadness that can be explain is not depression, it is sadness. (and probably what halfy is talking about when he says "situational depression".. no it is just being sad because of... depression is being sad for no fukcing obvious apparent reason for a prolonged time, to a point where it almost becomes you, you start to think this depressed state of mind, this boring silent person is you. it becomes the norm and sometimes therefore difcult to pin point as depression, because you're so fucking used to feeling like shit all the time you've forgotten Wwhat it is to feel normal, happy, content. when i actually have a good time with friends i feel like i am on a high, it almost scares me, to the point where i afterwards question every thing i said and did, and if that crazy loud bubbly person is the real me? and then a whole new existensial crisis begin and you feel drained and never wanna se people again.

The culture among farmers is to never talk about feelings and just "soldier on" whatever life throws at you, so when you ask a neighbor "How's it going?" and they shrug and say "You know... good days and bad days" you pretty much know what they're talking about (especially if you've been there yourself.)

There's been a lot of research recently that the rate of depression and suicide among farmers is more than twice that of military veterans and the availability of help is a lot lower. Here's one: https://nypost.com/2017/12/16/why-depression-and-suicide-are-rampant-among-american-farmers/

So I'd agree that getting outside and doing something productive are good things to make yourself do on "bad days", but they're clearly not the final solution....

Norc wrote:
also.. wanna point out. Being sad is not depression. Being sad because you miss your grandpa who died, is not depression. Sadness that can be explain is not depression, it is sadness.

That's a really good point, Norc! Sadness is a very good and healthy emotion that's there for a reason. When I've lost something/someone or failed at something, I've found that taking a little time to be genuinely sad about it is important. I've found that if I try to ignore the sadness and "soldier on" it can sometimes be a trigger for less healthy emotions....

Closing down is the easy bit. You don't have to keep a pretence going. The real you at that moment wants to be quiet, wants to just stare. Watching children playing outside I envy them, they just play they don't think. I cant remember a time when I was just me, when I didn't make any sort of analysis of myself & wonder what normal is. How do you clean the slate & start again ? I feel that for most of the time I just don't fit in. I don't doubt why people take drugs or get drunk all the hours in a day. & who the hell wants to take meds on a long term ? Counselling, CBT, sessions with a "group" ? just drives the point home that life for "you" is fucked up, Even on those marvellous Highs, days that are so wonderful you don't want it to go you have to come down, get back to "normal"..
" What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.”

Eldorion wrote:"There is always a light on the other side" is an objectively false statement considering the hundreds of thousands of lives worldwide claimed by mental illness every year and such platitudes are unhelpful both in their vagueness--there are, in fact, concrete steps that can be taken to fight mental illnesses, including but not limited to psychiatric medication--and in the (probably unintentional) implication that people who have not seen recovery despite their best efforts simply aren't showing enough perseverance.

Good point. I certainly was not trying to diminish the very real experience of all the people around the world who go through real and serious mental illness, nor offer clinical advice.

Merely a small mantra to carry, which can perhaps be generally helpful. As even if it is not true, it should be, and we should continue to think so. Because, to turn slightly anecdotal, at the bottom of Pandora's box, there was hope. Don't let go of hope.

How dare you belittle the condition Blue by offering a pleasant word of encouragement?!

I get what you mean, Blue.

Forest Shepherd wrote:How dare you belittle the condition Blue by offering a pleasant word of encouragement?!

I was waiting for something like this.

It was a fun nine years, guys. Later.

{{{ Now Eldo- you leave the stroppy site leaving to crabbit old professionals - you're way too important to us all to bugger off! Besides mental illness is a tricky one to get round, especially for someone who doesn't suffer from it- and tolerance should go both ways- those who have a mental health issue should be shown understanding and tolerance, but similarly those who dont should too when they don't understand the illness. Like many things its all about communication. Theres not good guys and bad guys on this one, there's just understanding and not understanding.

For myself I'm up and down- sometimes months apart, sometimes (if I'm lucky) even a year or more and there is a platitude helps me when its dark, from Macbeth - 'time and the hour runs through the darkest day'- doesn't help me feel any better at the time, doesn't change my mood, but having that little bit of knowledge at the back of my head somewhere in the logical bit, I know deep down its a matter of time- I might not be able to change the mood, but I can out wait the bugger until the pendulum swings again. }}

Eldorion wrote:I get what you mean, Blue.

Forest Shepherd wrote:How dare you belittle the condition Blue by offering a pleasant word of encouragement?!

I was waiting for something like this.

It was a fun nine years, guys. Later.

i think he's joking. not sure. i hope he's joking. One cannot always expect other people to understand, and even though what they say isn't exactly helpful, at least they try to be helpful in their own little way. 

i hope he's joking because i think forest didn't reaaaally mean that... can we not joke a little about it, laugh a little. if we can't laugh, then what is the bloody point.. i mean even terminal ill cancer patients can laugh at their illness..