Ange the Man

It has been awhile, but I have thought of you all often. Well, once I did... well, just now I am...

Anyway, good to see everyone is behaving themselves. At least - not having checked - I assume so.

Now, with my Moderator duties fulfilled, I would like to announce that all Ozhobbits (of good character) are now fully behind Celtic Football club (up past Pumkin Mound in Scotshobbitland) and it’s new Ozhobbitstan Manager Ange the Man.

And whilst once a fan of Aragorn, I have regretfully decided the disown all Rangers. Trusting this will not offend any Scotshobbits here but instead please any Scotshobbits of good character. If Scotshobbits (of good character) even come here.

Go Bhoys! Go big Bhoy Ange!

You will be gratified to learn that none of that made the slightest sense to me at all.

me neither

Ange Postecoglou is the new Australian coach of Celtic FC in Scotland. A certain Scotshobbit, if I remember correctly, is a Rangers fan. I thought it best to start the fight earlier rather than later, and on my terms!

{{ Yes, I understood Orwell perfectly! I believe their new manager used to manage some kiwis, or roos or some lot that have never won anything, now who was it again? No one ever hears about them football wise so hard to remember names. Oh yeah, the Australian national team that was it! Knew it was someone useless }}

You and your European snobbery! I’ll have you know I’d back our kangaroo eleven to beat your best speckled haggis eleven any day! You know, we beat Charlton Athletic* 2 Nil. 2 nil, son! Yes, we’d throttle your haggis’s, son! ANY day... except Thursdays, of course...that goes without saying...

Btw it seems to me that Celtic football fans seem to hate their own board, players and coaches more than they hate the boards players and coaches of other clubs. Tis crazy.

If you want to banter mercilessly with me - not malignantly! - by all means like my Facebook Page: ‘Ange the Man’. I know it won’t mean you liked Ange, but it will mean I will then have four folk checking into it. I’ve  spoken to the two others on my page and told them I’m working on growing our number to four. From what I see on Celtic fan media, a Rangers supporter can hardly hate Celtic more than their own do!

*Known locally as the Man City of Charlton...though I might have just made that up....

{{ well could be worse I suppose, Ange has at least picked a real sport, not that confused mess you lot play, kick it or pick it up, put the ball in the goal or over it, make your bloody mind up! So at least he isnt in charge of one of them with some daft name like Stripey Pussy Cats or may as well be an english club bull dogs or those made up Oz words with too many vowels in them like Geebilibong.

But you set up a facebook page for Celtic and Rangers? Are you mad? Not only do have one of the most violent contentious competitions in sport anywhere in the world your dragging in everything argumentive- that rivarly involves everything from religion, IRA and UDA terorists, unionism v independence to the Palestinian cause. Its like a coming together of everything likely to start a fight.
So obviously Im in! (send me a link)}}

I don’t think you need a link. Just like my Facebook page. I think that’s how it works.

And I onky want you there to say things like, ‘Ock the noo, ewe bhoyz warr grund in smushing uz 10 nool.’ Or, ‘Thar rufs turned ewe a bard turn ina guven ewe thar loss 10 nool.’ That kind of thing.

But no pipe bombs. I’m absolutely firm on that. Nor bagpipes. It’s an Oz Celtic fan page. Not Old Firm. I find the whole Old Firm thing, quite disgusting. Reminds me too much of English Factories in the Industrial Revolution. Lots of coal dust and breathing disorders, and Ranger aristocrats persecuting chaste Celtic gurls. In other words, I don’t want trouble from you. Unless it’s non malignant and above all, either sensible or witty. I hope you’re paying attention.

)
;
...and btw, Petty. I don’t necessarily care about football, I just want Celtic to win the European Cup thingee under Ange. Smash all those ‘elite’ teams from Serie A, La Liga, and the EPL. I don’t really care if Celtic win the  SPL, even beat the low and cunning and nocturnal Rangers. I’m probably not one of your more one eyed supporters. But don’t tell my new Old Firm Celtic mates that. Not sure they’ll take to that all that kindly. Cranky folks by all accounts. Knife bearers. And I’m already having something of a strained relationship with some. The negative bastards! Called Ange ‘Skippy’! The bastards. The Rangers fans are almost as bad. ‘Skippy’! Bastards! 

Gets worse! I think the Celtic fans are going to lynch Ange if Celtic doesn’t beat some Vikings next week. Apparently, Celtic were absolute shite last season (in battle?) and they think Ange has some magic ring or something to make them not shite within two weeks. He’s Australian, but god, even Australians need three weeks to beat berserkers with a crew of toothless duds. (Frankly, I’m having trouble understanding all the details). Two weeks is one week short...without a magic ring, that is. 

(NB I hope my bhoys have something more than bagpipes to fight them Vikings with, those coonts have axes, you know! Or so I hear!  And what’s with that ball? Who needs a ball with them when defending against a maritime raid? Only in Scotland, i guess....) 

(Maybe there is something I’m missing. ‘Football’? Maybe I should look it up on Wikipedia. See what Im actually getting more myself in for... Vikings? I guess water will be involved. Will there be diving?)

{{ Its Celtic, they're always diving And whilst shite is a very good word it barely does justice to the utter collapse of talent, ability, or knowledge of how to score a goal that befell them last season.



Rangers didnt just win last season, we romped home. Mind you ask a Celtic fan they'll probably tell you it was all a masonic conspiracy, and the government too, and well everyone thats not a celtic fan or Irish, or catholic was in on it. They have so many chips on their shoulders they could open a chain of chippies.

But Im afraid you really dont know what youve gotten yourself into here.
If you do manage to split of discussions of the Old Firm into just football and not anything else youll be the first person in over a century to do it!
We only have football in Scotland because its slightly less damaging than a religous civil war. Slightly.}}

According to a Rangers fan site I looked at about an hour ago, Rangers lost to Tranmere. And as far as I know Tranmere at not even in the SPL - or even in Scotland! That’s a pretty bad loss, isn’t it? And to the English! No amount of SPL trophies can wash that stain away, can it? 

Btw how come Celtic supporters win 9 leagues in a row and then either cut their wrists or burn down houses when they lose one? Is 10 a magic number or something? Do you get a coupon to watch Manchester City if you win 10? It doesn’t sound very appreciative when you want the whole club staff and players drawn and quartered when you lose one season. And if Rangers win one in a row, does that make them forget the other 9 years preceding? I’m a little confused by the Scottish fan mentality. Mind you, maybe it’s got something to do with Buckie and memory loss? Celtic fans seem forgetful, too. They remember they didn’t win 10 but don’t remember (appreciate?) winning 9. That’s why they want to raze the club to the ground. It’s a queer thing to me, but maybe it’s just Scottish? Oh yeah, are Celtic, Irishmen, and Rangers, Englishmen? I have a horrible feeling even asking that may upset both Celtic and Rangers fans! And even get me killed.

Btw I am fairly familiar with the Old Firm and the shenanigans and how serious it often is, I just don’t intend to take it very seriously myself. Not in Forumshire anyway. I am being a little more circumspect in that other world. The other world where you can get killed for being flippant about Celtic or Rangers... I knew a bit already and have been researching too. No wonder you live away on that peninsula of yours that you tell people is an island - to keep them away, I presume. I guess Celtic people most - and Rangers folk too, but I guess you can never say that aloud!

{{ 10 in a row is significant because many moons ago Celtic dominated and won 9 seasons straight, but then slightly less moons ago Rangers dominated and won 9 seasons straight- but neither side has either made it to 10 or therefore bettered the others record of dominance.

To complicate things further due to financial shenanigans behind the scenes at Rangers they got kicked all the way down to the bottom of all the leagues and had to work their way right back up through all of them to get back in the top league and even play Celtic again. And obviously Rangers were in poorer state financially than Celtic who had the chance and the time to completely dominate going forward.
But couple seasons back in the top league and Rangers were ready to stop their 10 in a row plans, spoil their party and hammer them when it counted.
So not getting 10 in a row, not taking advantage of the years Rangers were in the lower leagues and financially much worse off than Celtic to build an indomitable position is why Celtic fans hate their own board so much, and why 9 in a row is meaningingless to them- they bottled it when it mattered, going for the 10.

'Oh yeah, are Celtic, Irishmen, and Rangers, Englishmen? I have a horrible feeling even asking that may upset both Celtic and Rangers fans! And even get me killed.'

Not exactly and yes that will get you killed by both sides probably. Celtic were founded by catholic irish  immigrants at the end of 1800's. Rangers on the otherhand are establishment protestants who predated the irish catholic Celtic by nearly 10 years. The religous rivarly is built in therefore on the catholic/protestant thing. And Celtic being irish immigrants brings in the Northern Ireland issue- with Rangers fans been seen as pro unionists in NI and Cetlic pro one Ireland. During the troubles this meant Celtic fans were often backing, promoting, supporting, funding and singing pro songs about the IRA and celebrating their atrocities as well as displaying hatred of the British Army (and still do).
On the other side Rangers went full embrace of UK, union jacks, Queen and Country and full support for the British Army and suported groups like the UDA in Ireland and supported their atrocities (and still do).

In more recent years you can add in Scottish independence to that- though its a bit more nuanced- in general Rangers as the union jack British Army supporting team are assumed to have fans that support the Union, and Celtic being in favour of one Ireland and freeing of the British yoke to be pro-independence. But remember those chips on Celtic shoulders I mentioned? well because of some of those they also believe the entire system from Scotish Government down to every referee and the SFA (Scottish Football Association, also known by fans as Sweet Fuck All - as a summing up of how useful they are at doing anything) is rigged against them in a grand protestant masonic conspiracy.
And obviously you get Rangers fans like me who vote for independence.
And somehow even more lately the Israel/Palestine thing has become a part of it (and also a part of Celtic fans disliking their own board, who took down signs and flowers and stuff left by Celtic fans at Celtic Park that were pro-Palestinian during the recent conflict between Israel and Palestine). Rangers therefore are considered to be pro-Israel on the basis that Hamas are terorrists and so just like the IRA and as bad as catholics. And celtic fans sympathise with Palestinians being held down and controlled by a bigger armed government as being like Irish catholics v the British Government.
So basically its a toxic mix of religion, politics and rivarly that is played out in at least 4 games every year as opposed to it being an actual battle all year. And when it all began in the late 1800's there was already a couple of centuries of hatred built up ready to be plugged straight into it all, and its never gone away.

You really sure you want to take this one on? }}

I’m going to support Ange. I think...

I have encountered a Rangers fan already who action ally agrees with Celtic in the sense he feels they are Socialists. That’s, supporters of the working class. So I guess there might be one or two Scots who don’t actually hate (all?) Celtic supporters, and vice versa, but do love their team beyond politics. But it’s obviously a heady and often toxic mix over your way. 

I’ll try to have serious conversations on my page, about football. And some fun. But I’ll be watching my step, don’t you worry about that.

I sometimes have reasonable conversations about Aussie Rules with opposition fans. And some friendly banter. But there are those who things get pretty narky with. I’m having more problems with negative and nasty fans of my own team at the moment! Probably not helping I’m advising to change their allegiances to other teams. Which is nit fair to other teams, because I don’t think anything will change if they go. Lol. They still won’t be happy.

Bu, no, we don’t have quite the toxic history that is attached to your Old Firm. 

NB Poor financial management is often the reason teams don’t succeed. So not sure you can say Celtic won because Rangers weren’t there. Rangers weren’t there because for one reason or another they failed, in this case, financially. Clubs ultimately bring success. Clubs build teams. Celtic won every championship for awhile. And Rangers were failures there for awhile. But while I’m taking sides (Ange’s, and therefore Celtic’s) I’m not really. Only in anything that happens on the pitch while Ange is there. 

I realise it’s good going to be dangerous no matter who matter what.

You’re welcome to come and chat on my page, though. My other two fellas are Aussies. Probably will be happy to just chat, and banter, football. One of them is only there because I told him he had to. You know, to make up numbers. Like you. But don’t think you were only the third person I could think of. Perish the thought.

F
So not sure you can say Celtic won because Rangers weren’t there.- Orwell

{{ I didnt say that. I said Celtic fans hate their own board for not in their view taking advantage of the time Rangers were out the league and broke to build an unassiable position.
But there is truth in saying that it was much easier for Celtic to dominate for 9 years with no Rangers to oppose them, the rest of the Scottish teams dont come close to the big two. Last time a non Old Firm team won the league was Aberdeen in the 1980's when they had Alex Ferguson as manager just before he went off to be manager of Man Utd and dominate English football.
When Rangers and Celtic are both playing in the same league the question is never will one of them win it, only which of them will win it.}}


I must admit, the idea of  two team league sounds a little dull. I’m even entertaining the thought just now that’s maybe it would not only be less dull, but might water down at least do dome of the angst, if your competition was more a level playing field. I follow Aussie Rules as your know,and all 18 teams are in effect only two or three year short away from a Premiership because its a salaried league. Our football league, the A League, is always close too. (I’ve had an interest in football for fifty years btw. I do like and study the game). The A League operates under a salary. Evens things up. 

You mentioned Ferguson, I’m going to assume he found success with Aberdeen, but Aberdeen did not have Celtic or Rangers budget? If that’s right, it shows what a great manager can achieve with unfashionable and cheaper players! To win the A League in Oz really says something about your quality as a coach. Level playing field with salaries. To be honest, Celtic and Rangers have much smaller budgets than the elite clubs in La Liga, Serie A and the EPL (etc), and for that reason alone I’d love their see either grab that glittering European Trophy! I’m hoping Ange can do it. But I rate your coach. A champion bloke and man. Don’t mind him winning it if Ange can’t. Shame I will have to hiss and boo now whenever I see him. Oh well...thems the breaks.

I did post something, thought I lost it, posted something else, then realised I didn’t need yo, so deleted the second post, then got tired. I’ll respond to your last post when I’ve stopped calling myself an idiot. Btw I accudentally commandeered your last post for awhile, then  fixed things up by deleting what I’d done. These Moderator powers are Awesome! I really am the last person who should have been entrusted with them! No respectable forum would have allowed it. Oh blessed Forumshire. I do still love you.


Edit: I just realised when I did commandeer your last post I did not really repair it quite right. And its shorter than it once was  now. Thought not sure about that. I might be wrong. And I’m there right in the middle of your post. Sorry about that.... in my defence, I did say I should not ever have  been entrusted with Moderator Powers.

Rangers lost to Tranmere. Does that mean they’re out if the Scottish Cup?

{{ I see your fellow Aussie got off to a rocky start in Celtics Champion League qualifier- with a 1-1 draw at home. But best bit was in post match comment he said 'I think we deserved all 3 points' in a knock out competition where you dont get points! Maybe he thinks he is playing Aussie Rules or something? }}

Playing Aussie Rules? The men’s game? You mean he’s not! I wondered what is with the the round ball, and not bending down to pick up the ball, as if it was dirty or something, and not trying to kill anyone!

My gawd, the bhoys are buying into his style! And that bhoy Murray. Welsh and Murray at CB. How embarrassed is Rangers going to be in about 6 weeks when two teenagers destroy the Rangers forwards.  Though, of course, I’ve heard that Rangers have no shame... 

I’m looking forward to our new signings coming in. And that lad, Abada! Shame that dufus Briton banged that nail in his own coffin, Abada might have kicked 9 goals in the second half, having warmed up a bit. 

Of course, the really upsetting thing, for everyone else, is Ange will be scouring all of Asia to enlist players that you Europeans have been too snobby even to have noticed or considered, and at bargain basement prices. It does not augur well for Rangers or Barcelona. But I’m an Ange fan, and his enemies are my enemies, so I feel no pity. Especially for Rangers. Apparently, if you are a Celtic fan it’s mandatory you despise Rangers as if they’re goblins and child eaters who wear MAGA hats. And, as Odo might say, if you’re on the bandwagon, pick up that wee troomput....or bagpipes!

{{ While your lot are struggling to get better than a draw against some team with a name that sounds like someone cleaning a particulary troublesome blocked nostril and just got your arse handed to you by West Ham in a 6-2 thumping, Rangers just beat Real Madrid 2-1.  }}

Don’t be fooled by a cunning plan! The Vikings: “What? 6-2. Let’s send out our under 14 girls team.”  (That, of course, gives us a slight chance!)

I have being doing some close research. And by my calculations this is the relative standings of three teams who played each other. 

1. Tranmere.
2. Rangers
3. Real Madrid.

Frankly, I like the way that looks. After all, Rangers and Celtic may be the Old Firm (or, as I see it, Corporate Football), but Real Madrid is an even bigger corporation. Tranmere is more like me. The down and downtrodden.

Of course, Celtic are still building a list which will eventually include a defence. We are still in short pants, not even in kilts; our testicles have not even been ice-tested yet. We be coming for you oh too soon. Our kilts a’fly in the wind, mun. Ock tha noo!

X
{{ well thats your man failed his first real test, out the Champions league in the qualifiers to the nostril cleaners  }}

I’m not sure what you know about these things, but from what I can tell, Ange inherited an unfit and depleted list, and has brought in a new game strategy. Up to now, they have won pretty much every first half. New players coming in within a few days. His own signings. More to come. Mmmm.... I’m not giving up on big wee Ange just yet. About 4 weeks until they play the only other team capable of winning the league. Four weeks is a long time in football. You better hope your corporation beats my corporation, else there will be a scourging! Oh yes, my precious. A scourging!

{{ His new game strategy seems to be lose as many times as possible As to new signings for them, believe that when I see it you are obviously unaware of the Parkhead biscuit tin mentality (ask your friends about it    ). And the good players he does have all want to leave the club   (can't say as I blame them).
Of course a sensible team, say like Rangers for example already got all their new singings in place and nicely bedding into the team before the season starts- your lot should try it some time! }}

{{ I must say Orwell it was very sporting of your chap to welcome Hearts back into the top flight by gifting them the first game of the season. I'm sure the Jambos will be very grateful for the 3 points.
But I suggest maybe next time Ange the Man should try fielding a team that can last the whole 90 minutes and not need to nip off for a fag and a pint at about the hour mark to recover. }}